[GCS]

I going to take another direction with this. I adopted 2 from Russia one year after my brother and his wife adopted an infant domestically.

Their adoption is fairly closed - little to no contact allowed through a lawyer, never meeting, etc. He does not want anyone in our family to ever mention adoption or anything pertaining to the birth family.

We came home with a 3 year old and a 5 month old and have a very different way of addressing our children's adoption. Everyone who is part of our life knows we adopted and knows our adoption story. Our children know that they are from Russia in the same sense any child knows their heritage (ie. we're Dutch and Italian, etc). My son knows that he had another mother before me and that we did not meet him until he was 3. He oftens says "when I was a baby in Russia...".

How our children decide to present this to others later in life will depend on them.

We do not want to have our children defined by their adoption, but we do want them to be comfortable discussing it if they choose to and to understand there is nothing about their past they need to hide.

Really, once you are home and start to get acclimated, people begin to forget the "story". It just doesnt come up that much anymore.

That being said, I do not give really personal information out to just anyone. It is their story to tell once the time comes. We have close friends and family members who do not know many details of our children's past. It isnt something they need to know.

You will find what's right for you. Good luck!

Christina