[JohnnaMJH]

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I know that only you guys can know what is right for you. I will say that I think it is important to know what type of conditions your daughter is living in now. Has she been prepared to be adopted at all? Is there any chance of neglect, or worse, abuse? Those two things would make it much harder for her and for you. That said, some kids are just resilient and come through terrible traumas with so much strength. It is inexplicable except for the fact that they are just made of strong stuff. Dealing with a child who may have been abused and/or neglected could be very hard though. That is the main thing I would consider.

Our son came home at three. He was not prepared at all, although I admit that you can't prepare a 3yo that much. He also was neglected some and very, very spoiled. That sounds like it might not be such a big deal, but it was and is. Do I believe he was meant to be in our family, yes. But, I do also warn everyone who asks about older child adoption and the long road that can lie ahead.

Again, I don't mean to discourage you. No one here can know what is right for you guys. Either way, don't be afraid to consider what is best for the three of you. Maybe people don't understand, but they won't be the ones either living the the hardship of the terrible wait or having to walk away.

HUGS and again, I am so sorry. It is so unfair what the 'system' puts some people through.