[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by bmom2amom

I too placed a child nearly 18 years ago in a closed adoption situation. I didn’t know there was an option. I didn’t know I could have changed my mind. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t know and I’m glad it was closed for many of the reasons that have been posted here already. I wanted my little girl to have a happy stable home with a Mom and a Dad. That’s why I chose adoption in the first place; it was a life I couldn’t give her. I wouldn’t have wanted open adoption because I would have felt ‘out of place’ I guess. It doesn’t mean I love her any less, nor does it mean I never want anything to do with her. It was my way of dealing with something more painful than I care to think about. I felt that by signing away my rights I no longer had the choice to see her or not.



Her aparents agreed to letters and pictures upon request, but this was a verbal agreement only. (I was lead to believe I had no rights at all, like another poster) I received pictures until she was 6. She’ll be 18 in September. I continued to request them, but was told after a couple letters that the family moved and the attorney could no longer find them. So, not only was this a painful experience… I now feel that I made a huge mistake and chose the wrong couple. How could aparents just write off a bmom so easily? They told me in their first letter how they kept her name what I had given her because it was the one thing I gave her. When I was 18 I was touched. Now that I’m 36 it feels like it was more of a slap in the face since I gave her so much more than that. I gave her life.



Sorry to write a book, I guess I have a lot of deep feelings about this and have never really spoken to anyone about them… thanks for listening J

are you going to search for her at 18?

its nice to talk with other birthmoms......
maybe we can chat sometime.......