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Originally Posted by tjb52
Were your DH's just on the sidelines until the baby/child arrived or were they right in there through the whole process?
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I'm the same way you describe yourself - control freak who does all the research and paperwork.
For this reason, and because I didn't want to be doubting whether this was really what HE wanted, I mentioned adoption to DH as an option I'd love to consider at the very beginning of our infertility troubles. Then I dropped it. When he brought it up again (on three separate occasions), I knew he was really ready and interested.
Now that I am doing research and paperwork, knowing DH, I don't expect him to get "excited" about things like getting a physical and filling out forms. He is whole-heartedly ready to pursue this, and I know he'll do whatever needs to be done to get the administrative stuff finished, but I don't expect he'll be truly excited until we are matched, or possibly even until we have a real child going home with us.
I also know he tempers his enthusiasm because he doesn't want ME getting too excited and then being hurt by a failed match - he did this throughout infertility treatments as well, and vented to my sister (they are very close) about his frustration and disappointment, because he was trying to be upbeat for my sake.
I don't know how helpful this will be. You know your husband best, but if he's told you he's ready, he probably is, even though he probably won't be nearly as excited as you about interviewing agencies, filling out forms, looking at pictures of potential matches online, picking out nursery themes and colors, etc. He's probably trusting you to take care of all the details, and just tell him when and what he needs to do for his part.
~Courtney