Well, if you are considering at all the option of adopting privately, you need to work on getting a private homestudy. Most state run foster/adopt programs wont allow you to ‘buy’ your homestudy until you’ve been with them for a determined amount of time.
You could talk to your caseworker about that also – they might be willing to work with you.
The next step, should she decide to explore her option of adoption, would be to make sure she has some extraordinary counseling so she can deal with the effects of adoption both pre and post placement. She also needs to make sure she has explored all of her options with some options counseling. It sounds like she might be making her decision out of fear and she really needs to explore that before she makes this life altering decision.
Then, you’ll need to hire attorneys. While you may only be required to hire one in your state – it’s always a good idea to have two, one for you and one for mom, so you are sure her rights are being fully represented without prejudice (adoption is the only legal practice where an attorney can represent both parties, why? Who knows…)
Here is the link to the Ohio Adoption Statutes.
http://ohio.adoption.com/