[Vogi2002]

I think that, like it or not, there is racism in this country. I think that you have to be fully prepared for this and able to deal with all the factors involved. It's not just about racism, but it's also about the fact that, no, they don't "look" like you. While those of us who are from a transracial family know that this makes very little difference, it does to some people and can be really scary. Also, it's a whole different culture (same as adopting internationally), and different hair, skin, etc. This can also be scary for people who are CC. Finally, I think it's about the fact that you would not be able to go anywhere and not get noticed. There will be staring. Not all bad, mostly curious, but you can definetely not blend in!! This can also be scary!!

I have an AA sister (CC family) who is 14 and has quadraplegic cerebal palsy (she's in a wheelchair, severly handicapped). I love her and she is the light of our lives but I have seen the ugly side of America. Not just from CC people either. AA people can be just as cruel. One actually told my mother that "she had no right" to adopt her. Now, my mother said "well she was availble for 9 months before we found her, I guess you needed more time?". It's sickening really, mainly it's the little actions, no one helping you by opening the door when you are pushing her, stuff like that.

Now, that being said I would adopt an AA child in a heartbeat. I actually remember all the positives about being a transracial family. I remember the life lessons it taught us growing up. I am now comfortable with people from all races! BUT my dh is not as comfortable. He didn't grow up with many AA people (from small town in KS). I think he is more afraid of the unknown, and that's okay. I have to respect that. We are open to Asian, hispanic, and CC children. It's taken me a lot to say that, I have a lot of guilt (feel like in a way I'm completetly rejecting my little sister). But again, I have learned that his feelings ARE valid, and not everyone is able to deal with the challenges being a transracial family can bring.

I hope this makes sense. Basically, I don't like it when people judge other people for their decisions when adopting because everyone has their reasons, boundaries, etc. I don't think it's about being bigoted for the most part (although I am sure there are PLENTY that are), it's more about the unknown...

hope that made a little sense!!

Natalie