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Here's my take on this.....and we're just the opposite:
We're both CC...well, as I always say, 'We're seemingly CC, because we all know there is no pure race of anything anymore!"
That said--Our first two babies were adopted overseas and are Asian. They're grown. The middle three (two disrupted, one in residential----all three were older kid adoptions)....are mainly CC descent. This is what the agency chose for us......we had little choice in the matter as they believed more in 'color matching' than anything else, I think. (Grrrrrrr)
So, in going back into private adoption again (long story).....we chose to be presented to only AA situations. We would consider multi-racial (which every situation is multi-racial, come to think of it)......or rather, 'bi-racial'......but only consider this.
Our reasoning is that we started out as a transracial family....we chose this route; and we've deliberately turned down CC situations, in order to remain a transracial family. Let those who feel they cannot parent a child of a different race, apply for the CC babies. We do not feel it's our place to apply for them too.
While it bothers me, personally, when people feel they can not parent an AA baby....I also feel a sense of relief in that they are not trying to parent an AA baby when, in their heart, they really don't want to. I've personally seen too many CC people 'parent' AA children with total disregard to their skin/ hair care (because they CHOOSE not to deal with it, not because they're learning), and who talk as if the child is 'less than' because they don't 'match' their child. (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
I've heard of agencies who try to coax their CC couples into taking AA babies, when there were no other families who were looking to adopt an AA baby. (another Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)
And, I've actually heard of an agency that speaks of having a couple who are 'OPEN" to an AA baby...rather than making this their first choice. (That 'open' thing stinks (vs the 'we're open to any race'), as far as I'm concerned! Saying, "open" sounds like they really didn't want to deal with AA babies, but rather they're saying, "Hey, if that's all you've got......")
(yet another Grrrrrrrrrrr).
And then, there's the couple who will not adopt an AA baby, because of their family ties. While this would not be an issue in our home--because we wouldn't associate with family who might feel this way.......I understand not everyone is like us. So, that's another reason.
I've been told we're rather predjudiced ourselves, by not wanting to adopt a CC baby. Maybe so....but we know that---in our hearts---we would not be comfortable with a CC baby, and it would not be fair to the baby, or to us.
Whether you call any of this bigotry or not, is your call.
Sincerely,
Linny
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