Just to let you know, The letters B and M, when used together as an abbreviation for birthmom, are automatically replaced with two asterisks as many find the use of this abbreviation offensive.
Here's a list of commonly used abbreviations and acronyms that you will find on
these forums. They should help since you are new!
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I'm not sure why it would be crazy or a fairy tale. Since you didn't give much detail, I'm assuming this is an open adoption resulting from a domestically adopted infant. Simply ask them if they would like to attend. I haven't been able to attend every one of my daughter's parties due to the distance between us but I am always honored when I am included.