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I'm not in this situation, but have friends who are, and the BIGGEST problem is boundaries. It is pretty gosh-darn rare for a bio parent to EVER show up unannounced at a foster parents' house (they often don't even have an address), but it is much more common if the foster parents are their own parents or siblings, etc. I've heard complaints of unannounced visits, phone calls at inappropriate times, and requests to allow things they aren't supposed to be doing - accompanied with all the guilt and drama of saying "no" to someone that you probably love, even if you know they aren't capable of parenting at this time. This can sometimes divide families a bit too - in the case I'm thinking of, the husband sees no problem with bending the rules for his daughter, but the wife is adamant about following them to the letter - so they disagree sometimes.
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