My daughter is 13 and has been with me for one year, and we have done lots of attachment-related activities. On the advice of therapists, we have done some of the things traditionally associated with younger kids, such as my holding her on my lap while I rock her and read to her and sing to her, and sometimes feed her "comfort foods" like applesauce with cinnamon. We also do a lot of things to increase her sense of belonging, being in a family, and being special. I kept a journal of all my early meetings with her, before she knew I'd be adopting her and later when we started our offical pre-placement visits, and then about the process of her coming home full time, and I read this journal to her regularly. She loves it, and asks me to read it over and over. We add to it every month now, summarizing special events and activities. I also take lots of family pictures and put them in a scrapbook album with captions and lots of writing about the events, and we look at this together often. I have special nicknames that are just mine for her, and I make up little songs and poems about her using these nicknames. All of these activities have done wonders in helping her attach. She has had the diagnoses of reactive attachment disorder, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, major depression, brain injury, development disability, impulse control disorder, etc., along with some medical issues, and has had failed placements in the past and a six year stay in a residence for kids with attachment impairments. Given all this, I think she is doing amazingly well, and the attachment work was crucial.
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