[DeafSiren]

Carissa,


I have a very knowing smile after reading your post and these excellent replies. We've been down your road for quite some time. TTC for almost three years before deciding to adopt--add to that that our IF is male factor, and both DH's brother and father have it and WERE able to conceive with treatment, well, let's just say his side of the family really doesn't "get" why we're adopting. That we *want* to adopt, it isn't a "last resort," etc., etc. Even now, as we've been waiting for 19 months, they still are just quietly supportive. I'm really hopeful for when we can bring the baby home and they will finally be excited and happy for us.

We've probably all been there with the pain of family/friends getting pregnant, many of whom seem completely unprepared. I don't think you *need* to be happy for them. I think you've got the right attitude of focusing on your own joy at the thought of your future child. Hope is an incredible thing. And my mantra is a line that the Grandfather says in "The Princess Bride," "who said life was fair? Where is that written?"

Anyway, my wishes go out to you and DH for the incredible journey you have started! May it be a dream come true for you!

Oh, one more thing...about the fertility chat site...I can totally relate. I used to go to one of those when we were TTC, and I myself at the time thought, "it just isn't the same to adopt as it is to give birth." I could go back in time I would smack myself for ever thinking that! They are caught up in the TTC world and all those emotions. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you went back a year from now and found several had chosen the adoption journey for themselves. They may be influenced by you letting them know of your decision!

Good Luck,
L.