[Carissa02]

Hello all. I'm new here so here's a little back ground. DH and I have been ttc #1 for over 2 years and have dx unexplained infertility. We did 3 IUI's and cancelled our 4th. DH had a varicocelectomy last year and I was slated to have a lap this summer, but after the 4th's cancellation I deceided that I couldn't handle ttc anymore and we deceided to begin the adoption process immediately. We have been talking about it since the first year of trying and always agreed that we would do it at some point. This summer it finally became a reality and we were both super excited.

We deceided to adopt from Korea for a multitude of reasons but we hit a few small roadbumps. We are miltary and DH is about to go away for training in July, then after that we'll be moving out of state. This are all good things, but because of this, we can't begin the process until we move to SC in November.

We were ok with all this and deceided to start telling our families about our plans. They were, of course, a little shocked and surprised, but ultimately happy. Then, they big blow came. My 20 y/o unmarried, only been with the guy like 10 months sister got pg by her "fiancee" who is currently deployed to Afganistan for a year. She didn't even try to protect hereself and this wasn't an accident. We had many converstaions about her protecting herself. Now she's living with my mom and dropping out of college. I just can't be happy for her. And the worst part is, she came out with this news THE SAME DAY I called to tell my mom!! To top that off, some irresponsible friends of ours just found out that after only 3 months of trying they're pg too! This past weekend at a party, there was no time to share OUR happy news because everyone was too busy rubbing her belly and "making way for the pg woman." (groan)

Add all that to my SIL getting married this summer and buying a house, and we're pretty much being ignored. It's not that I'm not happy for everyone, well, everyone but my sister, but after two LONG agonizing years we finally have something good to share and no one cares! It's almost like they don't even take us seriously because we can't start until November. Well, we ARE serious and it IS going to happen! They even keep saying things like, "now that you want to adopt you'll get pg" ect ect. Well, we're so serious about NOT ttc anymore that I'm on the pill. We both want this to happen more than anything and couldn't handle some sponaneous pg ruining it and causing us to loose $ or a referral.

Even my old friends from my ttc bulletin baords have been unsupportive in our deceison. They all told me how sad they were that we were stopping and how we should just keep trying and if we get pg and loose a referral, $, ect, to just chock it up to a loss and move on!!! How could I do that if I had a referral?! How I could I do that now when I believe that somewhere out there right now, God had chosen a birthmother who will carry my child?! HOW??!?!

I just wish people would be happy for me and at least try to understand where I'm coming from. Why I'm so upset (at my sister), depressed (that no one cares), and ecstatic (that we're ADOPTING OUR BABY!) all at the same time.

Is there anyone else out there going though something like this? Please say yes because I'm really starting to loose my mind here.

Carissa