[mom2GRLC]

I think it's fine to be supportive of reuninfication but really you have no control over what is going to happen. I wouldn't get your hopes up or the childs. When I realized our little gril was most likely going home to her birthmom (although very hard and sad for us) I was so happy for her and for my little girl(along with nervous). I prepared my little girl to go. We even packed her stuff up together the night before court. Then a suprise turn in the case changed everythign and a week later her birthmom signed away her rights. I was soooooo mad at her. But more mad at myself. I could have saved my daughter from all that confusion if I would have just waited until after court to talk to her or just kept things at the "I don't know we just have to wait and see what the judge says" kinda thing. At the time I thought I was doing what was best for her. But it ended up causing her a huge amount of confusion and anger/sadness. I just remember my 3 year old little girl crying in her little toddler bed and me lying their snuggling with her. She was so angry and hurt.

I guess what I'm just trying to say is just focus on your family and let her know how much she is loved by everyone. But try and shield her from unessary heart ache. If there is a visit planned don't tell her about it. Do as the above poster said or just wait and let it be a suprise when they actually show up.

As far as talking to her about her going home be honest with her. Tell her that her parents love her very much but they aren't able to care for her like she deserves. Tell her the judge wants her parents to do some things to be better parents and it's up to them to show the judge they can be better parents. Hopefully they will show the judge that they can do the things they are supposed to . If they can't the judge may have to find her new parents that will love her very much and take care of her like they are supposed to. Then when she does talk about her parents just remind her that they do love her very much and you hope they are doing what they are supposed to so they can show the judge what a good job they've done. That way your being supportive of "her being taken care of properly(however that may come to be)" not that all the focus is on her parents and her going home.