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I disagree with your therapists idea that raging is about needing more control. In my opinion, I would hold tighter control. I would believe she feels out of control but giving her control she cannot handle makes no sense.
As for comforting, I think sometimes, that's that best appoarch. However, she would then still owe restitution for the fit. She owes hassle time and replacement of fixing of anything broken or damaged. She takes energy out of the family, she needs to put energy back into it(and it's not a problem if she is happy while doing it-it should feel good when she's fixing a problem)
I hold smaller kids while they're raging. Older ones, I find the less I say or do, the shorter and less frequent the raging occurs.
Since you are switching therapists, you might want to be sure you have one familiar with attachment and adoption. Even if this is ODD rather then attachment based, a lot of the parenting strategies and the trauma that needs to be addressed use the same methods.
Hope you find what works for you. Raging children are not fun to be around.
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