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I just saw the edit about suggesting that she asked for $ recently. That's terrifying, but again, I've heard of it many times. Now your confusion and fear is clearer. Keep in mind that it's not an adoption until she relinquishes.
This young woman needs to get some counseling, before she decides the fate of her child and your family. She sounds very confused. I think any mother would be if she were a week to delivering her first baby.
If you have an experienced adoption attorney ask him what to do and how much direct contact to have. For your shared child's wellbeing, and out of general compassion, you'll probably want to have some ongoing contact (annual cards sent thru your lawyer still count as communication).
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