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Just a couple of quick thoughts. First off, you are dealing with an expectant mom, not a birthmom. No one is a birthmom until they sign the papers terminating their rights.
Secondly, naming baby is actually very important for many birthmothers. A name of our choosing is one of the lasting things that birthparents can give their children. I named my son on his original birth certificate. His adoptive parents renamed him and that name is on his amended birth certificate.
The money thing is troubling, that is something you need to work out with your lawyer.
Is this expectant mom getting any counselling? You do need to realize that until she signs papers and if there is a revocation period in your state, and that is up, that the baby is hers, she can choose to parent. I am sure that is a heartbreaking thought.
Are you getting any counselling? It might be helpful for you as well to have someone that understands to talk to about your fears and concerns.
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