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Originally Posted by luv2scrap
Adoptive moms,
What kind of relationship do you have with your childs birth mom? are you happy with the relationship? if not what would you like to change? How often Do you find yourself thingkng about her? Do you ever find the need to want to know more about her? and want to talk to her? Do you see the 2 of you as friends, sisters, etc?
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Both our adoption are considered open but I definitely wish that the relnships were more open than what they are. We had hoped for and agreed to at least monthly letters (for the first year, then four letters a year) and at least four visits a year.
We have seen DD's first family three times in a little over two years. I wish it were more. But this is what it is by their choice. I still send updates four times a year plus notes/cards/pics/gifts for special occasions like bdays/Christmas/Mother's Day. We only have contact with First Mom through her parents, by her choosing.
Since our DS is only a week old, the relnship is still evolving. We hope to have a very open relnship with his First Mom but we just don't know yet. The decision is in her hands. We are committed to the same level of openness as we are with DD's First Family.
I guess you could say that I am not happy with the way things are but have no way to change things. If I could, I wish for regular contact and to know what is going on in their lives as much as they know about ours. I wish they would be willing to be as committed to the open relnship that they entered into as we are.
I think about the First families of both my kids each day, sevl times a day. Their pics are hanging on our fridge and in our children's rooms. We are teaching our kids to pray for them every night. We talk about them as we tell the story about how our kids came to be our kids. Every day...
Yes, I want to know more about them, to talk to them. I want their hopes and dreams to come true. I want them to find peace and joy and love in their lives. I want to know more about their stories, where they came from , what they hope for in their future. I wish we could be friends, even sisters... maybe someday...