The only people that know which of our kids are bkids and which are bkids are those that know us well and obviously notice the new additions. Other people that know us but not really well know that we are foster parents and we get asked often "which ones are yours?" I always tell them that they are all mine and do not tell which are the fkids. I feel that it makes people see and judge them differently and that is not fair to them. It also helps that my 3 year old bd and my 2.5 year old fd could be twins they look so much alike. It is amazing, I even get them confused sometimes when I just glance at them or catch them out of the corner of my eye!
As far as the "Don't you know what causes that" comment, I decided after the last time that someone said that to me that I am going to start confronting people about it. I am not normally a confrontational person but that comment just makes me seethe! Don't people know how offensive that comment is? It implies that I do not want all of my kids and besides that, it is none of their business. They do not have to feed, clothe, or care for my kids so they need to keep their comments to themselves! Sorry about the rant, I am just so tired of people saying this to me. I have been hearing it since I had my third boy in three years and am now hearing even more frequently and I am fed up! I already have planned what I am going to say to the next person that says it, poor them!