[LoveThemAll]

I have adopted five older children out of foster care, from two different states. Ages at placement range from four to eight years. My oldest is now sixteen. (And a half, she says.) All of them have been diagnosed with a range of special needs of one kind or another... some of the diagnoses were incorrect, others were a lot less severe than I was told, and even more have become barely noticable if not nonexistent over time. Frankly, after all we've been through, I have found my husband and I to be perfectly normal parents with five perfectly normal kids. Who would've thought? (My sixteen year old laughs and says that "normal" is a loose term for our family.)

Looking back, what I have found hardest to deal with in adopting my children (so far) was not the challenges of their various behaviors at placement, was not helping incumbents adjust to new siblings, nor was it hearing the equivalent of "I want my REAL mom" from each child for the first time. It was finding myself thrust into an older generation myself. Because I was so young when my children came into my life, I have had to stretch myself and make friends outside of my age group - friends who are also dealing with teenagers, and not just babies and toddlers.

No matter what, I think you will find yourself blind-sided in one way or another by adopting an older child. After five times in a row, let's just say I am satisfied that it is just part of the process. I'm here to tell you most of it is good, or at least it will be eventually. In fact, it is so good, it is addicting. How do you think I wound up with five?

I wish you all the best of luck and the greatest of blessings in your search.