[Jannyroo]

I met my bson (he's in his late 20's) 4 weeks ago. He has so many (drugs/booze induced?) emotional problems, OCD, that have left me devastated, but a reaction has kicked in, whereby I'm wanting to back off, I want my life back, nothing, but nothing, is worth this kind of pain? Is anyone else feeling like this? I've been feeling suicidal in the past week after my birth son called time out, but within a few days (unknown to me) was calling me, then sending emails. He is all over the place. Understandable? yes, but the messages are so conflicting and its driving me nuts. Naively? I thought he would want to come down to see me, spend a few hours (2hrs drive away), but he is showing no responsibility about my feelings. I need my family/mum's photos back (she died last year), but he won't reply on this, he ignores my wishes not to swear (badly) when talking to me on the phone, I get messages of wanting acceptablility, but I don't know what he is not feeling accepted about (except the swearing). i sent him my mothers mobile, but he never uses it to call me, (He has no signal in his area, so why ask for it? He promised me it would mean 1:1 chats) I can't call him, he lives at home with aparents.Can I call time out? Can I leave this for a time? Has anyone had experience of backing off for a bit, to see if things improve? I had my best day for feeling grounded yesterday, but its 4am and the panic is setting in. I've set limits that I will email twice a week, he doesn't have to reply, but he is on overload and I feel I'm there with him! now I feel I've got past the stage of caring. Its so horrible. I'm not a mother, I've been a single person for 49 years and now he's appeared in my life, I feel helpless to help & when I try, I get messages that I'm not accepting him. I think my head will explode if I don't back off, thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I only get counselling once a month and its not enough/doesn't seem to help. This forum is helping through this treacle I'm rowing through.