First of all I would not panic. You are doing everything right by these kids. First I would take what they say at the group home with a grain of salt. Apparently they aren't doing their job, and are trying to scare the daylights out of you. And from my experience - nobody told me anything the was 100% correct about my kids before I got them. Its more of a wait and see and correct and adapt as we went. So just judge the kids for yourself. You will see patterns and habits for yourself and you can make up your own mind.
About the headlice - I battled this one for months...IT was horrible. I would buy that RID and treat the my foster kids hair and go thru this whole ordeal every 3 days as recommended...washing bedding with RIDs, vacumming the room down etc. etc. .and every visit with bio's we got more...so here is my suggestion on that one. All those chemicals were turning her head red and sore, and I was in tears for the little one. So I found this solution:
1st - buy some hair gel - I found some really thick stuff in the african american section at the drug store. Slosh in on like nobody's business...like 1/2 the jar on each head. Put a shower cap over it and smoosh it down - what you are doing is sufficating the little buggers. Go to bed...cap and all Take one of those lice combs in the morning and keep combing thru the hair.(your going to need a roll of papertowels to get the gel and bugs off the comb..you won't believe what you get. I
had to have had over 100 adult bugs come out and that was after 3 or 4 rids treatments!! Not to mention how many eggs...I also got a HUGE plastic bag to put over the mattress to do the same thing - sufficate the buggers...I left that on for about a month before I took it off the bed.
Now - their hair is going to be greasy for a few days - its very hard to get this stuff out because I put so much in - but I didn't care - it was a good moisterizer - and I just put up the little ones hair so it wasn't too bad. The best way to get it out was with Dawn dishwashing liquid - I suds up her hair everyday with that and then used her regular shampoo...but like I said it took a few days.
Secondly the nurse at school told me to use hair spray in her hair...the buggers for some reason don't like it so if one got on her it wouldn't stay long it went and found another head
Since I did this we have been lice free for 10 months!! It actually took me 2 months to figure this out and was a heck of a battle - until I went with the old natural products instead!
Good luck and try to relax, enjoy yourself on your vacation and judge for yourself if you can handle the kids and their issues as you see them - not as this group home has said - as we don't know their purpose behind all these comments and warnings - especially at the last minute!