[Archive]

Last Friday night Ralph had his first meltdown and Angie had one earlier this evening. For Ralph, a lot of sadness, and then the "I don't want to live, I'm dumb, I'm stupid, I'm bad, I don't want to be here". For Angie, a lot of tears (I've been around enough adult survivors to know the anguish/pain of the type of soul-rocking grieving that comes from abandonment issues) and the same sort of thoughts - "I'm dumb, I'm stupid, I don't want to live" etc. Have to talk to the caseworker tomorrow, but how much of this is "drama", is this another twist on "if we act bad enough they'll send us back like everyone else" or is this "usual" for kids finally being placed? (both of these two had numerous foster placements and an earlier disrupted adoption). They are responding well to the boundaries, but in a way it's still a tough process, and I think the thought that this time might be for real is really scaring them. My husband finally got Angie to talk to him and when she said "I hate you" he quickly replied "and I love you anyway" and she came out of it.

I think the milestone tonight was when Angie gave her brother a hug goodnight for the first time since we've had them.