[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Well, with Bug's mother we don't have any sort of agreement and have not seen her since he was 3 months old. Although I do have contact with her sister. Do I think about her? All the time. I also (I know this is sad) check the county jail roster for her name. It pops up every so often and I know that she is at least not living on the streets for those nights and is not feeder her drug habit. I also know that she is alive.

With Bear's mom, she is in a treatment lockdown. She was only 13 when we met and she made the biggest decision of her life to give him up for adoption. We have a semi open agreement, but she has walked away at this stage of things. The fact that she is in the lockdown also gives me a sense of relief because she too is safe, alive, and not using.

Bear's grandmother wants a VERY open agreement and I simply am not comfortable with that at this point. Things may change, but for now it is what it is. I don't think I will ever NOT worry about them. Although I do not see them as a close friend or sister, they are dear to my heart because my boys are from them.