As much as gender does NOT predict attachment....do not fall into the belief that a girl will have an easier time adjusting. I've read a few articles lately where SOME adoptive parents are under the impression that girls will adjust easier to adoption....thus lessening the chance of attachment issues. Don't buy into that. The previous poster is correct, it has more to do with multiple care givers and needs not being met. My two sons( one I have had since birth, one since age 9) have adjusted and attached with ease, but my daughter (have had since age 8) has many many issues, including attachment, and it is exhausting raising her. She is moody and emotional....as only girls can be
and this exacerbates her insecurities about being adopted. However, I know many families with girls who are fine. I second the attachment parenting book.....we plan to use many of the techniques when eli comes home. My biggest piece of advice.....you and your spouse need to be the only caregivers for a while when your child comes home. Limit contact with others, and hold that baby every second for a while. Invest in a good baby carrier or sling. If he will only nap in your arms...sit down and enjoy the peace and quiet while he sleeps. In the beginning, it is all about making your child feel cared for, safe, and comforted.