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Originally Posted by katlyn
I found my daughter on April 10th 06, she'll be 20 on the 28th. My question is this, I have a number and address for her bfather. I haven't made contact with my daughter yet, still not sure how to go about it. Anyhow, back to my question, should I call and let her bfather know that I have found her and intend on making contact with her. I want to put this out there for him, so that I can have an idea how he will respond to her if she wants to meet him too. I have not met with her yet, and have no idea how our first contact will go, but I thought I should be prepared and this way if he seems open or closed to the idea
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Please be very careful, I can't honestly encourage you to do this after my own experience. My son found me this year and after 4weeks of wonderful emails and a reunion that was bliss, 3 weeks later I offered to find his birthfather. His bf replied in the negative and it has blown not only my son to bits, but our very early relationship. People are not kidding when they say take it SLOWLY. To me, slowly is a difficult concept - what is slow? weeks/months/years? Anyway, the resulting agony that ensured would make me very wary of saying anything but let your daughter decide and dont mention it if you can help it, if you do, you have to be prepared for the price you may end up paying. For me, I feel I have lost my son twice over, I have no idea if he will contact me again whilst tending the traumatic rejection. Best of wishes to you,