[GE_Glows]

Is she even curious about her origins?
I think most people have a bit of a curiosity to know things about themselves that they don't know – for example – do you ever wonder what your doctor is writing in your medical file when you go in for a checkup? How much more would a person be curious when that same file has no comments in it like “Genetic predisposition to xxxx disease” because it’s replaced with “No genetic information available.”

What are the chances she wants to meet her birth family?
I am certain there are as many answers tot his one as there are adoptees. You are unlikely to hear form the ones who don’t on this forum – they would have little or no reason to be here. However – rest assured there are some who – for whatever reason – do not. One of my dearest friends is also and adoptee – 38 years old and has never had an urge or desire to meet her bfamily. While she was carrying each of her 2 sons – she had some curiosity to know medical information – but no desire to meet them. Once she had the boys – the desire went away. In contrast – I have ALWAYS wanted to meet my bfamily and went to great lengths to do so.

At 18, is she even old enough to deal with the emotional aspect of a reunion? Probably not – teenagers are so all over the pace in their emotions –I was 19 when I found my bmom and I was in NO WAY prepared for the emotions that came with it. And I had initiated the contact…

Is there ever a “right time” to make contact?
Absolutely there is a right time – a good friend of mine on these boards reminds me with great regularity that “God’s Time” is always right – and it may or may not match up with what we want to be the right time.

How do most adoptive parents feel about reunions?
Again – I think every aparents would have a different answer. However – I think as long as you remember they are her parents – they raised her, kissed the booboos away, sat up with fevers, etc… they are in every way her parents – and you don’t come across in any way as threatening to them and that role – you will have a better opportunity to have a good experience. Think for a moment about your own boys and how you love them – and the 1000s of memories you have with them as they grow. Your daughters aparents have the same situation with your daughter and their love is no less for her than your own for your sons.

All of that being said – I would register with all the appropriate on-line boards and anything that may be available in your state and the state where she was born. With the internet as it is these days – if she is currently curious and wanting to meet you – she will find you there. Other that that – unless you hear from the family that she wants it – I would wait. Just my opinion.

GE