I understand completly. And I understand that my reasoning may be baffling... but I think it is more just misunderstood.
I think that people see my reasoning as just a "cop-out" - that I just didn't want another child, so I'm using it as an excuse. But that is simply not the case. In fact, I look forward to extending my family, not only with the adoptive family, but with more children of my own.
All of the decisions I have made have been made with much prayer, not only from me but from many others around me.
I understand that it may anger some birthmothers, that they may not understand how I could have the means to provide for this child, but have "chosen" not to. But if one cannot understand God's grace at work, my journey will not be understood. And that is okay.
I, however, somehow am able to see through C and A's eyes. I am focused on this child, my daughter, the aparents and my family. And in seeing the good in this journey, I seem to have been slammed!
I am willing to accept ridicule, questioning, discussion... but should I be the only one who has to open my mind to others decisions? What about others opening their mind to how I came to mine?
And between us, my Bible and my God have taught me that we are all one in the Body of Christ, that we are all brothers and sisters, and that we should cooperate as ONE family, even when that means making a sacrifice, big or small, so that our brother or sister might live.
And this is not my child... this is God's child. And He has a plan for this child, even if none around me can understand it.
