Yes, this child was conceived with my husband. I can see how the way I phrased it might be misleading. We are still married, but I cannot get a divorce in my state by law while I am pregnant.
We'd been seperated for several months when I found out I was with child. One silly night of letting my guard down, and I was pregnant (I also have to add that we were "protected"... God definately wanted me to conceive this child).
When I was first led to the prospect of adoption, he was not happy... did not want to be that "deadbeat dad" who was the reason I had to place this child in another home. At first I did feel that way... but as it all unravelled so beautifully, as I came to see the reason this child was brought to life, I couldn't make myself feel that way any more.
And he supports it. Somehow I've helped him see that this child was not intended for us. I don't know... maybe it's too complicated to explain AND keep short.
Because had he been the best husband in the world, and had he been providing for me and our first child the way a man should, I would not have considered adoption... and I would be keeping a child that does not belong in my home.
I KNOW it sounds cooky.... but it just... I don't know... just all makes sense.
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