[AMom2Two]

(((Myheart)))

Great Post!!!! I agree completely with you. Thank you for sharing that!

I also wanted to say that how WE (aparents feel) does not mean we tell our children that they are gifts. These are two different things. Do not mix them up for us.

Some aparents CAN NOT help but feel we were given the most wonderful gift in the world. I actually spoke to my dd bmom about this and SHE AGREE'S. Not everyone will agree with everyone's position or feelings. It is not one size fits all.

In fact, one of my favorite adoption songs, has the word gift in it. I've pasted the words below.

I get angry when others try to tell me HOW I SHOULD FEEL. You ask us to respect how you feel, but yet you don't give us the same respect back on how we feel? My children were gifts to me, just like they are gifts from God to their bmothers. Is it wrong when others say, their children are gifts from God. Why is one okay and the other is not? I am SO GLAD my dd bmom feels the same way we do, so for us, we don't have a problem with it.

That is not to say that I would tell my dd she is a gift, because I never would, but in my heart, I feel it is so.

If we were to look at the word gift, this is the definition of it....gift[1]
(noun) 1 : a notable capacity, talent, or endowment; 2 : something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation; 3 : the act, right, or power of giving



Lyrics: Empty Arms
by Janice Kapp Perry

(Birth mother)
It’s not a choice that anyone should ever have to make
And I hope someday you’ll come to know I did it for your sake
I knew from the beginning you deserved a chance to live,
But in my heart I knew you would need more than I could give.

I prayed that God would strengthen me to do what I must do.
And I made a choice that I believed would be the best for you,
For I loved you with a special love that only parents know,
A kind of pure unselfish love that helped me let you go.

I knew my empty arms would hurt me through the years,
And thoughts of all that might have been would often bring a tear,
But I had peace amid the struggle, for in my heart I knew
There were loving arms and caring hands waiting hopefully for you.
And I knew what I must do.

(Adoptive Parents)
So many years we’ve waited for a child to call our own.
The sorrow in our aching hearts was known to God alone.
Through tears and faith and lonely days this blessing was withheld
And then we realized our child must come through someone else.

We prayed that she would have the strength to let her baby live,
And share with us the tender gift that she alone could give.
Then we waited for a miracle, it’s all that we could do,
Just praying there would come a day that wishes would come true.

Because our empty arms have hurt us through the years,
And thoughts of all that might have been would often bring a tear,
But we felt hope amid the struggle, for in our hearts we knew
There could be an angel mother who could make all our dreams come true.
Now we know that it was you.

We know your empty arms may hurt you through the years,
And thoughts of all that might have been may sometimes bring a tear,
But may God protect and bless you and help your heart endure,
Knowing those who love your little one will have empty arms no more.

(Birth mother)
I loved you with a special love that only parents know;
A kind of pure unselfish love that helped me let you go.



Credits: Lyrics from the Adoption Album Do You Have a Little Love to Share
Produced by Adoption Media
All words and music copyright © 2005 Janice Kapp Perry and Joy Saunders Lundberg