Yes, I can understand that your pain (b-moms) is our gain (a-moms). I can understand that through your loss placing a baby cannot be a gift ,for you...but once that baby is placed and if there were no a-moms with infertility problems. Where would these children go? I do see my son as a gift....a very long awaited gift from God. Numbr, you stated that perhaps its re-gifting. Perhaps it is, birthparents are given a gift from God and what you choose to do with this gift is your choice. Yes, I understand that many first parents did not have this choice, but yet many did. Like my sons b-mom. She herself chose to place her son for many reasons. If you ask a parent who has given birth and raised their child if they think their child is a gift from, God many would say absolutely. Many christians believe that Christ was and is our gift from God. So, to me all children are all blessings and gifts from God. I could not birth my own child, so without adoption I would not have been given the gift to mother. My son is my gift and I will forever be greatful!
Infertilty, is a very painful state to be in and I do not compare it to the a pain a b-mom may feel once they have placed a child, But their are many similarities. For 11 1/2 years I cried every single night, I found it very difficult to attend baby showers, pass down the baby aisles, see a baby in a stroller. The pain I experienced through infertility was excruciating. The pain never goes away but it does subside.Many cruel people with hateful words will not let you forget it. Am I happy? You bet! I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy...a gift from God and his first mom. A mom who knew she could not raise a child on her own, let alone a child with special needs.
I can see where you as first moms cannot see our children as gifts, but can you as first moms see why as amoms we see our childrens as gifts? I was raised to believe that all children are gifts from God no matter how they came into our families, and to me and many a-moms on this board we will always see our children as our gifts from God. So, please if we choose to say this do not look down upon us, because we truly feel strongly about this statement as I do not look down upon you for feeling the way you feel.
Many Blessings,
Myheart
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