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Maybe you should just not point out the welfare aspect to the mom when you ask about adopting the child, let her make her own choices about that.
My daughter has a friend who was adopted by an aunt. The mom (aunt) told me that her sister (the bmom) continued collecting social security payments on the child for 2 years and she felt bad about having to fill out a social security fraud report on her sister but it was the only way she could get the money for her daughter.
I hope you can rescue the child. It is so terrible to grow up unprotected. I adopted my daughter last year (from foster care, not a birth-relative) and the horror stories that made up her life are just awful. She had been in foster care when she was 22 mths old but was given back to her parents, and it was such a horrible mistake for that to happen. The foster system doesn't rescue all the children that need to be helped.
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