I kind of sit on both sides... I have anger issues about family who never stepped in... BUT I also had everything made SO MUCH worse for me when steps taken by people failed.
I almost want to say that maybe the best thing you can do is continue to offer to care for her when the mother needs a break. Really.. it isnt wrong for families to help out... she may be using them for the wrong reason but you guys are helping for the right reason.
Im just afraid that the child will pay the price when this mom is pushed. It just seems that if she knows you want the child... it may push her to keep the child more. Even physical abuse isnt always enough to remove the child. But in this situation... it could turn out that you want the child... so she wont let you have her.... and if the child wants to go.. well that is betrayal and not only could she not let her go but turn on the child for having the wrong loyalties.
I know it was and is always about my mom... and she thinks she is great... and we (who do not want to live in a van high all the time.. ugh) are just snobs.
Again.. not saying she is like this... but I fully believe that my mom is not alone with her tactics.
As angry as I am for family members not stepping in when they had the chance.. I also understand that -- like you said -- the law wasnt on their side... and when anyone did step in it made it worse on me.
Perhaps you should consider multiple plans. One being you as the repreive for the child -- but not necessarily the rescuer.
