Thank you for your reply. I mean "too far" emotionally. I've known the mom for 12 years and have offered to help her numerous times. She has jokingly asked us to take her child before and even offered to pack her clothes for her. You're right that nothing has been seriously presented to the mom yet.
The mom seems to have no desire to better her life. I would be all for her keeping her child if she didn't physically and verbally abuse the child and subject her to dangerous situations and people. She has never had a job, been in rehab unsuccessfully numerous times, gotten kicked out of numerous HUD houses, etc. I do empathize for her and wish that she would allow us to help her better her life so th at the child could stay with her. The reason that I say this about the welfare check is because she told her mom that and her mom told me. She's not going to work so this is her only source of income. Like I said before, I've known her a long time and unless something drastic happens, she will continue to move in/out with whoever pays her bills and drag the child with her. I do understand what you are saying and we would be willing to help her IF she would allow us and IF she would make an effort. "Users" become very comfortable with this lifestyle and it takes a lot of effort to support yourself and your child when you're used to a handout all the time. This adoption is really the last effort. We have tried to help her and she choses to continue to use drugs and take off and leave her child with her mom for weeks at a time (the grandma does not want to raise this child because she's already raising a grandchild). I know I may sound insentivie about this, but believe me, I'm not. I've agonized over this and lost sleep over it trying to figure out what to do. After all our failed attempts to help the mom better her life, I don't know what else to do.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by numbr1dbcksfan
What do you mean by "too far"? I thought that this is just you and your hubby considering and nothing has been put into motion or even presented to the mom....
Has anyone offered to give her a place to stay that isnt a trailor with 10 people...etc? Or is the only help being offered is the offer to take her child from her?
I suppose I think that not only does the mom have a say (of course) but she also doesnt have to answer to you... You say in your opinion that her welfare check is all that would keep her there... but you cant possibly know that...
I personally dont think that you should be offering to adopt anyone -- but perhaps offer to help the mom get into a better situation...
|