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Originally Posted by la vida loca
Suppose you approach her mother and the response is a resounding NO and she cuts off further contact with you. What then? You may want to consider whether it is more important to adopt this child or help this child (not that the two are mutually exclusive but you may have to make a hard decision). Are you absolutely sure you can't get child services to intervene? At least then her mother has a chance to set things right with her child by getting help and formulating a plan. If things really are as bad as you describe you may still eventually have the opportunity to adopt her in the future.
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I have thought about this and worried about it. If the mom says NO, I don't think that she will cut us off completely. I could be wrong, but it's too convenient for her to have us take her off her hands when she wants to run around. CPS has been no help in the past. In our state, it's basically a joke. I have spent so much time on the phone with them and they say that you have to prove that the parent is unfit, which is basically impossible. I even told them the they smoked pot in front of the child and she told me that it's not illegal to smoke pot, it's just illegal to possess it. Ummm...How you be smoking it and not be possessing it??? Most of the people they employ don't really care whether or not they are following the law. They are probably getting paid very little and don't care whether or not they help you or not. I'm sure not all of them are like that, but the majority that I've talked to are.
Yes, I am concerned about your point, but I feel like we're too far in this now to turn around. If she says NO, I guess we will just worry about that then.