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For what it's worth
My daughter's adoption also took place prior to the days of open adoption. It would have been a great comfort to know her new parents and hear from time to time how she was doing, get a picture once in a while. I probably couldn't have resisted seeing her if I had been offered the privelige.
HOWEVER the kind of contact you guys were into at first would have been extremely difficult I think- watching my child being raised by someone else. Let's face it no matter how nice they are no two parents- let alone two sets of parents are going to think alike.
I suspect that when I was younger it have been painful deep down to hear someone else called Mom even though it was apropiate. My daughter is grown and it is not an issue for me. I can only guess.
You sound like a kind and loving person. Both b.mom and child are luckey to have you. I hope someday I can meet my daughter's a Mom right now she isn't ready but I'd like to say "good Job!"
Patty-cake
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