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Originally Posted by bromanchik
Oh if only this were true. Increasingly there are fewer supports for young mothers. Welfare reform has put restricyions on how long welfare can be received and as a result we are seeing more and more women relinquishing second and third babies, Cuts in section 8 housing grants made last year put an estimated 250,000 families on the street, so there is no help there for the young mom who has no support from family or friends.
I think "force" is a subjective term. Are there really options for the mom who is homeless? Without support from family and friends? For the mom whose family will disown them? (and, yes, this still happens today) Further, how free of a decision can it be when papers are pushed under the nose of a new mother only hours after birth? Quite possibly still on pain medication, obviously with hormones completely out of whack. How much of an informed decision is it for the new parents who have received "adoption" counseling instead of true options counseling. How many of these parents are getting any real counseling at all?
Unfortunately force is alive and well in American adoptions.
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I love, love, love Brenda's statement on "force is subjective." So very true. Nope. No gun was to my head. I take full responsibility that I picked up the pen and signed the paper. But what other option was I left with? I had been on bed rest and therefore kicked off welfare/medicaid due to the fact that I couldn't make it to the appointment about why I couldn't work. (Hi, morons, bed rest means bed rest. If you've ever taken terbutaline, you know that driving isn't an option. Morons.) So, that system? Failed me. And it fails many others. While tough restrictions are good for those who want to abuse the system (and they, sadly, do exist), it can make it tough for a Mother who just wants to raise her child. I was looking for our local resources for a friend of mine who had an unplanned pregnancy last year. It took me almost a full MONTH to find her all the resources she needed to raise her child. Why? It's difficult as heck.
Beyond that, the pre-birth "match" period is force enough for an expectant Mother. A sense of obligation has been stated by many a firstparent when they talk about how they felt re: the waiting family. Even ask those who were able to choose to parent who had been matched with a family. They will state that while they are immensely happy... a sense of guilt remains.
Brenda is right; "force" is still alive. It's just taken on a different mask in 2006 than in 1966.