[lifessence]

hi,

first of all - i would not work with an agency that told me you can't adopt a child older than the one in our home already.

children all need the same thing - attention and love - no matter what the birth order is.

we have a soon to be 12 & 4 year old bio daughters - as you can see below we are adopting a 2.5 year old and 5 month old - not biological brothers.

there will be a time of adjustment for everyone when you bring home a new child no matter their age. the toddler will need to feel the same love you give your child already home - just like you would want to give a baby.

please know i'm saying all of this from my own personal experience as a mother and tons of research before entering into adoption at all and of a toddler.

to say a child won't thrive or will have problems because they have been their first is kind of like saying they are equal to a dog or animal - pecking order??? we are not territorial creatures - we are creatures of comfort and habit - you as the loving mother will make any child comfortable and welcome in your home. how you treat them determines how well they will accept the new member of the family.

wishing you peace and joy in the decision to adopt again.

i do hope you will consider adopting a toddler - the blessings outweigh all the things "claimed to be missed". the gain is so much more right away - for all the mothers waiting to bring their children home and feel like they are missing so much because of being caught in PGN or the system - yes it is moments you can never get back. your child will have more first with you then you can keep track of no matter what age they are. it is a whole new world to them - with love, safety, food, water and a bed all their own, most times their own room for the first time, think of all the things that will you will experience together through their eyes. Not to mention they will be able to say Mom sooner and Dad - to tell you thank you for your love and the sweetest words you will ever want to hear "I love you!" You don't get those with a baby - you get them with a toddler!

Good luck!