[mom2GRLC]

I don't know how to feel!!! We have recently closed our adoption so my daughter only has contact through letters/pictures.

But for the first 2 weeks of May I began talking to my daughters bmom through IM and our webcams(at times). We'd talk every day sometimes a few times a day. I was gaurded the whole time because I worried she was only saying stuff she thought I wanted to hear so we would choose to open up contact again(which I had already told her would not happen). She said she understood and just really enjoyed talking to me and I enjoyed talking to her as well(but a lot of what she said...just seemed so unlike her.....at times it didn't really seem heartfelt like it was coming from her....more like she was puting on a front and pretending to be what she thought I wanted her to be, or feel the way she thought I wanted her to feel.)

Well, Right before Mothers day she ended up moving back to our state and is living with her mother just about 10-15 minutes from our home. She has access to the computer every day and she doesn't have a job...yet our conversations have become very minimal and basically hi and bye and that is pretty much it. It's like she can't wait to get rid of me...even if she is the one who first started the conversation.

I'm really starting to believe she was just using me. Where she was stayng she was bored and didn't really have any friends. So I guess I was "conveniant". But now that she has moved here I feel completely ignored and abandoned.

I feel like my fears were right. She was just telling me everything she thought I wanted to hear in hopes that I would allow more contact.When she realized I wasn't budging on the contact issue it's like she has better things to do than waist her time talking to me.

I'm so frustrated, I'm begining to question why I even started talking to her again in the first place. Why I keep holding onto this dream of what it could be and then having it all crumble before my eyes.

I'm wondering if I should just let this go. The whole idea of trying to develope a friendship with her....aside from the once a year pictures and updates I already intend to do. I'm so confused.