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I would be upfront and honest as well. It is surprising how well children adapt to new circumstances. You may be able to adopt later as your financial situation stablizes, and I would not worry about the age difference. My 10 year old son and 7 year old daughter adore my 9 month old son...
Most of your children's lives will be spent as adults in adult sibling relationships when age differences of 7-10 years probably aren't that significant... Look into the future when your son is 40 years and your daughter is 33 for instance -- not a big deal, right? I am not trying to minimize your concerns... I just feel things happen for a reason and usually they work out just fine in the end...
God bless! Donna
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