I am so sorry you are hurting right now. While we never had a failed placement. I know many of the aparents have here. You have come to a great place. We are here for you.
Your child is waiting for you. It is so hard to imagine that right now, but they are. The process of adoption is not for the faint of heart...even though it feels like our hearts might completely break sometimes...Hang in there and don't give up.