[sisnmike]

Whoa! Some of you guys couldn't be way more off track or any more snippy huh?
I certainly wasn't trying to berate T's birthmother in any way at all, I was only trying to give you all a general idea of just how we came to adopt him, that it wasn't a planned placement but more of one because of their circumstances. I adore his birthmother and I think that's why it bothers me so much that we haven't heard from her. I know she has feelings for him and as one poster mentioned she is probably just content knowing that he's being loved and taken care of and is going through the emotions of being in reunion herself. I don't believe that she just doesn't want to be bothered, like she's forgotten about him, I just feel like T was her top priority before and it feels like now that she's moved away he has kind of gotten pushed aside.
And Sunny--you may not have had to vote on the Birthmothers Day but regardless of your vote or not, the day before Mothers Day is a day to recognize birthmothers. I am in no way saying that they are not mothers or shouldn't be recognized on Mother's Day itself, because that's not my feeling at all. Quite honestly I thought it would be upsetting for bmom to receive flowers/gifts on Mother's Day itself but that she may enjoy receiving them on a day that recognized birthmoms. Either way though it doesn't matter when she gets them, I just wanted to make sure she knew we were thinking about her. And yes, she will always be a mother and I'll never deny that but that has nothing to do with my original post. I was writing because I really wanted her to keep in contact with us and be able to enjoy T as he grows up, however I wanted to be sympathetic to her and do what I could to help if she was having a hard time, even if it meant holding of on the pictures if they upset her. And just an FYI--my comments about birthmothers day also stem because I am a birthmother to 3 beautiful children, however I do not feel that I am their mother/mommy and therefore I would feel more comfortable being remembered on birthmothers day, reserving Mother's Day for recognition of thier mommy's. I know I may be the minority here but that's okay.
So, no, I'm not berating bmom, I adore her and would love to have more contact from her and send her gifts. That's it.