[julie23]

I have been reunited with my bdaughter for two years. She is now just twenty.

During that time, I have kept her updated on the status of my terminally ill brother. He is nearing the end of his life.

In the last two weeks, my grandmother has had a stroke and my father has had a cardiac emergency resulting in a triple bipass on Monday... we almost lost him...

I updated her on all this... partly because I had previously asked her if she wanted to be updated about this sort of stuff... and she answered "yes" (But can you really answer that question honestly??? Like... gee, No ... I don't think so!)

but... there's something else that drives me to share... I can't quite explain it... it's a deeper connection... it's on a level that goes beyond... ummm... beyond the surface...

I feel comforted when she sends her prayers.... or hugs... sometimes, I just feel better knowing she knows...

BUT... I wonder... if it isn't too much... I don't think she would tell me if it was... it's just so dang much.... it's too much for me.... and the girls I am raising....

and I wonder if I have put her in a difficult place... I think she has a sensitive spirit... and I think she does care about her birth family... even those she hasn't met... and I wonder if I should hold back... but that doesn't seem the right thing to do either...

but can a twenty year old young woman really handle the conflicting emotions that go along with life or death situations in her birthfamily?? I dunno....

I care about her so much... I worry about her ... and I don't want to be a burden...

I dunno...