[IYAOYASMarineWife]

I would love to read this. Even 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my son, I was sent away. Even though my entire family wanted me to place, I am thankful that times have somewhat changed, and I was blessed with the ablity to raise my son. I did graduate on time, I went on to have a daughter and then a son who I placed. This has been a trying time, and all of the emotions I had from my first two pregnancies are surfacing. I never thought I would come to this place in my life. In fact, I never even knew that I had issues with my first pregnancies. It wasn't until I was about to give birth to JohnPatrick that I realized that I felt abandoned when I was pregnant with Spencer. And then I am angry with Cammie Jo's father for not wanting her. All of my issues from being an "oops baby" are coming out from realizing that my DH is soon adopting both of the children. I don't know why it doesn't affect me as much with Spencer. Maybe, because I always thought it would be just he and I against the world. I know that now there is someone special in my life, I must turn over the regins and live life as a "normal" family. It is quite difficult when your DH is half a world away. I have never had to deal with babies screaming for their Daddy. I was always enough for them. I guess there's just maybe a sense of jealousy there, now that I am not their everything. But on the other hand, I am thankful that we finally have a family. Because, honestly, I never thought that this day would come. I find myself in awe everytime I check the mail and there is a card from DH to HIS kids, addressed with HIS last name. I praise the Lord for this. Thank you all for letting me vent! I never knew I had it in me!

God Bless,
Tiffany&Co.