[kimber413]

It's not uncommon to get a referral that has tested positive for Hep antibodies in infancy, and more often than not, when retested they test negative. There is always the possibility they will remain positive, in which case you can turn down the referral. As for FAS, you should use a qualified international adoption doctor to review all medical information and photographs of your referral. But to say you can 100% rule out FAS/FAE in any referral is false. Just as with biological children, there may be problems undiagnosed that you won't find out until the child is older, but you learn to deal with the problem as best you can.

You are certainly justified to be concerned about these issues, and perhaps an IA doc can help alleviate those fears once you get a referral. However, if the thought that something might be wrong with the child truly "terrifies" you, then perhaps you should consider adopting from another country, such as Kazakhstan or China, where there are fewer cases of drug/alcohol consumption by the bio mothers. I'm not chastizing you for your feelings, but the fact is that there is often alcohol or drug consumption with the bio moms in Russia, and more than likely you will not know whether they used during pregnancy.

Perhaps if you put things into perspective, it will help. You can be pregnant, do everything 100% by the book, and still have a child with health problems or learning disabilities. Do you love that child any less? Absolutely not. You do what you can to help the child have the best life possible, and that's what being a parent is all about.

As for our story, we have a child whose bio mom used alcohol, but we do not know for certain she used during pregnancy. We adopted her at 2 years of age. So far, our daughter has no problems other than being small for her age, and that's more due to previous poor nutrition. She's catching up nicely, finally into size 3T at 3.5 years old. She is highly intelligent, picks up on things quickly, and her vocabulary is vast. She is curious about everything around her, and has a very creative imagination. She's extremely athletic, and excels at gymnastics. Our whole family is crazy about her. She has no facial features for FAS, but may still have associated problems when she approaches school age and learning disabilities can be better defined. We will deal with those problems when they arise, and should more serious issues occur, we'll do whatever is necessary to give her the best chance she can have to succeed at whatever she wants to do and have as normal a life as possible. We love her to pieces, and can't imagine life without her (or even remember what it was like before her, for that matter).