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Birthmothers Day is tomorrow and I've been planning for months (literally) a special gift for her, as well as for T's upcoming first birthday but now I'm sad because I don't want her to feel forgotten on those special days yet I don't want to invade her space if she truly is the one who doesn't want contact any longer.
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bMother's Day???? Puhleeze! ... she's a mother!!! Mother's Day is Sunday. She's your son's natural mother; you can't change that by giving her a gift a day early.
I got the impression you were berating your son's mother by discussing her private life. Maybe she's getting that impression too, of your feelings???
It doesn't sound like you have much choice other than to wait until she's ready and willing to contact you. She may need some space. It's not easy. If you know where she is, maybe you could send a card and ask her to keep in touch when she's ready... and ask her also to keep you updated with her address if she moves.
You can't force anyone to do what you think they should do. Everyone has a choice.
Good luck!