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Jan, thank you for asking!
Things are well. We had our second visit with her birth family on Monday. DH and I were really nervous.. butterfly nervous. Will they think we're bad parents? Will they not like how we're doing things? Will they think she's unhappy (she had shots that morning.. ugh)? It was so great because if nothing else, it was the opposite, at least they made us feel that way. The whole family was there. It was so nice. And they are so warm and loving. It really made it feel like I had the "okay" to be her mom. I hadn't felt that until Monday. So it was such a nice experience.
DD has a cold, this is her second one and she's only 2 months old!! Her birth grandmother told us that her birth dad was this way and had severe asthma, so maybe that's what this is and they aren't identifying it yet? I'll talk to her Dr. about it the next time we're in and see what he thinks. The Docs have been great, too. We've been there a few times.. lol. She had thrush for a long time and then the two colds, so, they know us already!
It's great though. I finally feel like I know what I'm here to do. I can't explain it. But I just feel like this is who I'm meant to be.. an adoptive mom.
And I agree with what Melissa said above.. the hardest part was (is) knowing how much pain this causes her birth family. No matter how well thought out their decision was, it's still a loss for them, and I wouldn't wish this kind of loss on anyone. That was actually overwhelming the first couple of weeks. I think I was taking on their pain and making it mine, but I've gotten better and I know I can't heal them, I can just keep my promises.
Anyway, thanks for asking. I haven't been around much lately.. It's nice to reconnect. ;-)
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