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Originally Posted by aamommy
.... I am still ashamed for the feelings I have had. I always tend to be very hard on myself when I fall short of my expectations.
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You will have a HARD time getting thru this until you can own your feelings. If you still judge yourself for having them, then your emotional state overall will remain weakened and it will be a long hard road.
Most of us on here feel this way as well. But, self abuse causes REAL HARM. And with PADS being so difficult, it is IMPERATIVE that we strengthen all the places emotionally that are susceptible to damage.
Say to yourself, I do not like those feelings, but I had them and I felt that way and they were valid. In the future I will attempt not to feel that way, but if I do I recognize that it is OK and that they will pass. AND I am not the only one who has felt this. I've beaten them once and now I know them better, I can beat them again if I have to.