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Is she even curious about her origins?
I would say there is 100% chance she is curious. I was.
What are the chances she wants to meet her birth family?
I was curious and fantasized about who my bparents were, however I never felt the urge to seek either bparent out. I did not want to hurt my aparents, I felt it would crush my amom in particular. That I wasn't ready to deal with. My feelings were to protect my afamily and that is what I chose to take to the grave.
At 18, is she even old enough to deal with the emotional aspect of a reunion?
I couldn't deal with my amom being crushed by a reunion. That was the only thing.
Is there ever a “right time” to make contact?
My bmom waited until I was 25. Her reasoning was, she thought that would give me ample time to go through the steps of being a kid and my aparents to be parents.
A mediator called me one day out of the blue. I was States away from my birthplace and anywhere I had ever lived. The message the gal left for me was,
"----, I'm ---- from ----", I knew instantly. I was stoked (that means awesome). As thrilled as I was now I had to tell my folks. Months later I did and as I suspected it crushed my amom. A lot of healing time, A lot. I've had the families face to face at a couple major holidays and left the room because I thought my heart was going to explode. The first thing my adad said to my bmom was, "Wasn't finding ---- illegal?" You know what though? They talked forever and ever while I chilled in the next room. Things have been different ever since, honestly though, for the better for everybody.
How do most adoptive parents feel about reunions?
I'm guessing most expect it. Everybody involved bparents, aparents and adoptees sense it, I think it's natural.
I think small steps are good steps, there are many feelings involved with fragile bonds.
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