[purplewyo1]

Shanay,
Good advice here for you. I concur, and like Rilo, I too lived thinking that maybe "they" were secretly watching. As an adult adoptee, I would have to say that each situation is certainly different, and no one can tell you how you feel or how your daughter feels. I've just seriously begun searching at 40, and I would probably not have been able to handle a reunion w/ my bfamily at 17 simply because my own self-esteem was a huge mess at the time. I was still trying to figure out who I was; now I feel peace with my search, and no matter what I find I know I won't feel insecure about any of it because I'm ok with who I am to begin with. That said, I cannot speak for your daughter, but it seems to me you are on the right track with your concerns & questions. When I find my bfamily I plan to go slow and not rush too fast to make f2f contact. There are just so many emotions and feelings that can possibly occur on all sides, and that can change moment to moment. Good luck and best wishes for your successful reunion.
Leslie