faimlyguyma...
Is your child's bmother young? Did she have her family's support. Can you share more?
She sounds like my ds bmom in a sense, young and naive. My ds bmom is a still a teenager. She just doesn't get the whole concept so well. It's not that she means to be intrusive, but she was. We had to take a six month break from her and explain why we felt the way we did. We scheduled another visit but then email each other and tried to work out some of our issues. It was awkward and hard but it needs to be done. You need to rehash things out. My ds bmom went from closed to open by me, to her wanting to visit every month. She was calling herself mommy and referring to my dd bmom as mommy to my dd. It was a horrible visit, but it opened my eye's. I have to step forward here and educate her. She didn't mean anything by it, she was just young and didn't know any better. The hardest thing I had to do was tell her 2 visits a year. She got upset and things got awkward for a little bit, but now they are okay. You have to be honest about what you are comfortable with also.
I would not like phone calls. I'm always busy when someone calls. Can you correspond via email to her. That works best with both of my children's bmom's. That at least gives you some breathing room and space. It sounds like you have to draw a few boundary lines with her. I know it's hard, real uncomfortable, and it feels awkward, but if you can start the relationship off one the right foot, hopefully, the rest will come easier.
Speak up now....